Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Having mixed feeling these few days. Hmmm. About something. Yeah. My own self internal barrier. I seriously think i am not right. As in. Mentally. Hmmm. My friends think so too. Hah. Oh whatever.
Hmmm. I dreamt about Ah Fu. Think only certain people know who i am referring to. Dreamt that we were reallly CLOSE!!! Ah Fu never let go of my hand. Ah Fu held me close. Shit. I am so gonna let Ah Fu down this time. I was so "traumatised" by the fact that i think i am going to let you down. I dont want to bear the fact that i will not be able to look at you in the eyes when i meet you. I dont want to think of millions of ways to avoid you when i bump into you on the road. I want to approach you as naturally as when i always do. I do not want to disappoint you. I dont want to let your hopes fly high and drop hard straight to the ground (that is if you had high hopes). Please forgive me. I tried. My best. But if that's what fate has instored for me, i will have no other choice but to accept. Maybe i can change fate. I know i can do better. I know i can. But now everything is a sunk cost, everything is over. I REALLY DO HOPE THAT YOU CAN FORGIVE ME.
I really do.
Please do.
For now, it's all the way.
YYY
you do not know how much I love you
2:43 PM