you know, these days i sleep very late. cause i dont dare to sleep early. because i know i will be alone. much as nobody is talking to me, but at least i can keep myself occupied while thinking of you and trying not to think of you. i will be likely to wait till ah ma wakes up then i go sleep. if not, i will just go to bed but cry myself to sleep. i hate this life. i fear this loneliness that i am feeling. i am scared. plus, the thought of you and her. makes me even more xin ku and painful. but there's nothing i can do. i dont want. I DONT WANT ALL THESE TO HAPPEN!!